I Deliberately Forgot About You!

So, I’ve finally finished I Almost Forgot About You, and I must say I enjoyed the rest of it. I won’t completely ruin the end for you, but I will say Georgia ends up in a whirlwind romance with someone she chose not to be with twenty years before even though they were both in love with each other… [whispers in your ear] because he was white.

I think there’s something to be said about the fears we have in building relationships with people who are different from us, especially romantic relationships. We often hear about the importance of compatibility in religion, finances, politics, etc. when choosing a partner, but we also hear how often opposites attract. Sometimes we’re being practical in not choosing someone who has a drastically different lifestyle or view than we do, and sometimes it’s fear. Fear of what other people will think or say, fear of it blowing up in our face, fear of making a mistake and ruining our life, fear of disappointment… all kinds of fears can keep us out of relationships.

For Georgia, interracial dating was not something she felt comfortable with. She didn’t think her society or her family would be accepting of her being in love with a white man, and she didn’t want to accept being in love with a white man. If she had given in to her love for him, maybe she would never have been divorced twice and on a journey to connect with old flames and rediscover herself. Or, maybe it would’ve ended badly and she’d be in a more difficult situation. Who knows? Life happens the way it’s supposed to, I guess.

I had a conversation with an ex earlier this year about deciding whether or not we could make a relationship work right now because I did not want to come back together in our 60s or 70s, divorced or widowed, talking about how we should’ve made a life together work. It’s a story told far too often, and many times the decision not to be together is based on fear. For us, though, it was based on mistrust and wanting different things. So, I’m pretty confident I won’t be reconnecting with him in forty years.

The thing is, Georgia fights this guy the second time around too. She keeps telling herself—and him—that it’s too good to be true, she’s not in a movie, and this stuff doesn’t happen in real life. Instead of giving in to the excitement she feels, she almost ruins another chance at love. I don’t want to ruin any chances at love, do you?

We’ve got to be smart about picking our partners. All lives are not meant to intertwine. We also have to be open to the possibilities, even when there’s no immediate and obvious vision of a happy life together. I prefer to date with purpose because marriage is my goal, but I also don’t want to be so concerned about what a marriage with this person could look like that I neglect what we can provide for each other in the present.

Thankfully, Georgia learns to live more openly. Not only in love, but in sharing (and selling) her art. She learns what is important to keep and what she doesn’t have to hold on to so tightly. I’m learning these lessons as well. Hopefully I figure it out a lot sooner than Georgia did.

Happy Reading!

My Summer Reading List

I have come to accept I will never be one of those people who reads ten books per month… or five books per month. Some months I read one book—two if they are both really good—and sometimes I go two months without reading a single book. While it would make sense for me to shut everything off and turn to a book when I’m stressed, I usually turn on the TV instead because it is a more passive distraction than reading.

We are halfway through the year (insane!) and I’ve managed to start five books and finished two. To be fair, I’ve also been working on writing one of my own, but I have spent a lot of time letting Netflix watch me instead of picking up one of my in-progress books. In an effort to stretch my reading muscles, I have selected a few books for my summer reading list, and have given myself permission to buy physical copies of the books (yay!).

My first pick was a novel that felt like the ultimate summer read—I Almost Forgot About You by Terry McMillan. All I know right now is that it’s about ex-boyfriends and, seeing as the only type of boyfriends I have currently are those of the ex variety, it felt like a good choice to kick off the summer (which also means I won’t start it until next week).

My second pick for the summer is Roxane Gay’s memoir, Hunger. I’ve been really into Gay’s work since reading Difficult Women, and this has been on my list for some time. As a person who has my own body-related struggles, I’m interested in the relationships other people have with their bodies and how much deeper those relationships go beyond just hating oneself.

Lastly, I purchased Long Division, a novel by Kiese Laymon. Long Division is a bit outside what I’ve been reading lately since I’ve been focused mainly on Black women authors, but I’m looking forward to whatever fun, drama, and challenges this novel presents. I think it’ll be a great way to wrap up the summer.

I have a fairly broad timeline for reading these books. Summer lasts three months, but that doesn’t mean it will take the entire three months to finish my reading list. On the other hand, maybe it will… there are a lot of other things happening on this side of the internet.

I’m interested in what titles are on your summer reading lists. Tell me what you’re going to be reading this summer and where you’re going to be reading all these interesting books. I don’t get a real vacation until November, so I’ll have to live vicariously through other people’s summer vacay photos.

Until next time… Happy Reading!