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On Names

Published on by Christine Gabriélle1 Comment

I’ve been struggling with names for the past couple of days.

How it started: Christmas Eve I was on Google doing Googley things and somehow found myself in the middle of an article about the transliteration of “Yeshua” and how it changed from Hebrew to Greek to Latin to Swedish (I think) to English and became “Jesus” when a more literal Hebrew-to-English translation of “Yeshua” should be “Joshua.”

So, here I am—on Christmas Day—watching movies with my brother and falling down a spiral of “Dear Josh” jokes and telling him I hope his future wife has a sense of humor because my future niece(s) and/or nephew(s) will be taught by their auntie that the Son of God’s name is Joshua and not Jesus and we start our prayers with “Dear Josh” because He’s kind of like our heavenly brother and we don’t need to call Him by His full name.

Today, I’m sitting in the bathroom—where I tend to dig out my most intelligent (or rebellious) thoughts—and I say out loud to myself, “we shouldn’t even be translating names!” I understand translating the Bible into languages more people can understand, but names are names and don’t need translation.

Like, my name is “Christine” no matter what language you speak.

And then this thought spun me around to a memory of middle school when we would have Asian foreign exchange students come hang out with us for part of the school year, and instead of us being taught their actual names, they were given ridiculous English names like “Cutie” and “Sweety” (though some had less ridiculous English names like “Mary”).

Imagine being eleven, going to a new country, and instead of people calling you by your name, you get stuck with “Strawberry” or “Purple” for your entire stay because it’s easier for the locals to pronounce. Now, we’re not talking about nicknames or shortening a name (Christine > Chris, Michael > Mike, etc.), we’re talking about completely different names here.

It’s stupid. And I’m angry about it.

A person’s name should not be translated into something that isn’t their name just to make it easier for someone else to say.

Calling me “Christina” because it’s easier for you or because you like the way it sounds better (yes, I have actually been told that as an adult by an adult) is a sure-fire way to make me hate you just a little.

So, I swing back to the Yeshua/Jesus/Joshua thing and I’m sitting there like, “Yeshua” doesn’t need to be “Joshua” either. Yeshua is Yeshua. Period.

Now, full disclosure, I was one of those people who thought Christians who called Jesus “Yeshua” were being pretentious and annoying, but I get it now and I’m a little piffed it took me this long.

So, no, we will not be calling the Son of God “Josh”, nor will we be calling Him “Jesus”. His name is Yeshua. My name is Christine.

The point is, call people by their actual name (the one they give you) and not some version of their name that makes more sense to you.

♥

December Writing Cave – Day 26

Published on by Christine GabriélleLeave a comment

I’m stuck in a story.

The underlying theme is clear, my reason for writing it is clear, but the actual story eludes me, and I’m trying not to stop writing and turn on the TV, so I figured I’d come chat with you for a minute.

I was on “vacation” last week. Really, I spent the week watching Christmas movies during the day and Living Single at night and making time for long moments of silence and reflection. I did not work or write and only entered my office to make sure my Fittonia wasn’t pretending to be dead.

It was nice.

Also, Christmas hasn’t been feeling very good the last few years. I used to love Christmas to the deepest part of my bones. I’d start listening to Christmas music November 1st and not stop until the end of January, I’d constantly have a Christmas movie on, be immersed in decorating every inch of the house, wrapping gifts, and planning our annual Christmas party. It was truly the most wonderful time.

The past few years, though, I may have listened to ten hours of Christmas music, and most of that was as background noise while I was cooking or cleaning. And even then, a lot of that was during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I don’t think it’s because we stopped having the party—I actually prefer not having cook for, entertain, and clean up after fifty people.

I don’t know, it’s just been weird lately.

Speaking of New Year’s… For a while, I’ve battled the idea of celebrating multiple new years’ versus just one, but I’ve finally come to clarity on that front. I enjoy the personal focus that comes with my birthday, and I’ve been sort of using my birthday as a benchmark anyway, but then January 1st rolls around a few months later and I feel like I have to set an additional set of goals along with everyone else even though I’ve already set goals for my personal new year. So, upon further reflection, I’ve decided to skip the “new year, new me” madness that happens at the 1st of the year.

I’ve also decided I want to lean in more to my personal new year. And while I’ve always (since I was a kid) been one to extend my birthday celebration through the entire month of September—and once until October (covers face in shame)—I think I want to really dedicate Septembers to myself. No work; just play, reflection, planning, relaxation, and starting my new year well.

Last week’s reflection helped me solidify some Q2 goals—because I also want to try quarterly goal setting—as well as specifying rewards for reaching certain milestones along my writing and VA business journeys—because, like I’ve said before, I don’t celebrate myself well.

Now, a lot of those rewards involve allowing myself to buy coffee rather than making it at home, but they also include new outfits, celebratory dinners with friends, and a big ol’ party for at least one of the major milestones I’m trying to reach in a few years.

I’m trying to get better at making life good for myself.

For Q2, I’m focusing on getting at least 5 stories done for Book 2 as well as some sample journals. I’ll also be officially launching my VA services and looking to gain some really awesome additional clients. I have one client now who I’ve been beta testing my services with in exchange for coaching, and she’s really fun. Even though I’m a baby business owner at this point, I love being able to choose who I work with.

I’m also experiencing some conflict regarding one of my other projects that I have not yet come to clarity on. I was all in at the beginning, but now I’m not sure where I stand. The thing about tuning out all the other voices—friends, family, social media, TV, etc.—and sitting with myself in silence, is that it allows me to point out the things I’m doing because I want to do them and the things I’m doing because someone else thinks it’s a good idea.

At this point in my life, I’m trying to be very intentional about the decisions I make and the activities/environments/situations/relationships I engage in. I enjoy certain aspects of this project, but I’m wondering if it’s the project itself that I want to participate in or if I’m gaining something from the specific aspects I enjoy that I’m lacking in my everyday life.

Does that make sense?

It’s like, do you enjoy the job, or do you just crave the social interaction at lunchtime because you don’t have much of a community outside of work? The answer isn’t to stay in the job if you don’t like it, it’s to cultivate healthy community in your daily life. See what I’m saying?

I’m still stuck on this one. And I want to make sure my thoughts are clear before I go ripping up foundations.

As for this story I’m stuck at the beginning of, may grace and mercy follow me all the days of my life.

I’ll talk to you soon.

♥

December Writing Cave – Day 14

Published on by Christine GabriélleLeave a comment

Well, hello there!

No, I have not written another short story yet. BUT I have laid out the general idea and titles (except for 4 pieces) of the short stories I want to include in Book 2!

Right now, there are fifteen stories I want to include in this book. A couple of them have first drafts completed, some of them are almost fully fleshed out ideas, and some are just ideas. For instance, one of my notecards just says “friendship → breakup, reconnection, loss” and that’s it.

I have no idea where I’m going with that one yet.

Speaking of notecards, I decided to write my story ideas on individual notecards and organize them by color and symbol. Like this:

ORANGE – realistic
YELLOW – a little magical realism
GREEN – fantastical

* – basic story idea only, needs a lot of ideation
O (pretend that circle is filled in) – story idea but no title
♥ – complete story idea and title

The notecards are small enough for me to carry around and I can draft stories on my phone as needed—that’s how I drafted the story on the 1st (even though my laptop was within five feet of where I was sitting).

It feels good to just allow these ideas to flow. I’ve felt very stunted the last few months. Creating the space this month to write has been incredibly helpful. Also, I grabbed my Moleskine off the shelf and found some pretty good lines from 2009 (yes, thirteen years ago) and 2018 that inspired a few of the stories I’m writing for this next book.

Reading those lines from years ago made me realize… just because you write something today, doesn’t mean it has to produce today. You may be laying the foundation for a better you (more experienced, more confident, has gone through some things, etc.) to build upon.

One paragraph in particular—something I wrote in 2009—was the 100% exact description of an experience I had last year. Reading it struck me so hard. There was flashback, but there was also vision for what I could do with it… the story I could tell with it. I wouldn’t have had that vision when I wrote it in 2009, though. I was just completing a scenery exercise for a creative writing class I was taking in college. Now, though, it’s ready to become something. I’ve grown as a woman and a writer, but I’ve also experienced hard things that I can pull from to craft this story into one that makes other people feel things.

That’s always my goal—to make people feel things when they read my stories.

And to encourage people to explore their feelings through journaling.

So, that’s another thing I’ve been working on that came up this month. I’d had the idea for a set of journals before, but it wasn’t the right time. It felt uncomfortable and extremely difficult—which is how I know it wasn’t the right time. Now, though, I have a good grasp on it.

I think.

I want to make sure that what is in my head gets into my hands in a way that I can share. So, I’m creating something and if I love it, then I will make it available to you. If I love it, I’ll make it available to everyone.

Goodness, I am so proud of myself. If you know me, you know that’s a difficult thing for me to say, especially out loud and in public. I have always had an “other people have it worse than you” mentality coupled with an “other people are doing better than you” mentality. Somehow, it was shaped in me. Well, not somehow, I know how. It’s still a weird intersection to live at.

The things I have accomplished this year… the things I have overcome this year… we’ll talk about it later. I’m in no mood to start crying.

Thanks for being here. I can’t wait to get these things out to you! I mean, I can because I still have to create them, but you know what I’m saying.

♥